Draft Thesis Statements

Jannson, Johannes. "Books With Spines Exposed"  March 8, 2011
Public Domain

Below I refer to the "Create a Rhetorical Analysis Thesis Statement" box from page 192 of the Student's Guide, and present two thesis statements that I will use for my Project II essay.


Rhetorical Situation & Strategies


Article: "Gene Mapping Becoming A Luxury"


Author: Any Harmon writes for The New York Times covering the impact of science and technology on American life. She has won two Pulitzer Prizes, one in 2008 for her series, “The DNA Age,” the other as part of a team for the series “How Race is Lived in America,” in 2001. She takes an obvious, biased position by opposing the "elitism" medical care that the wealthy can afford, and supports government funding/subsidies.


Audience: The article is specifically aimed towards intellectuals and more liberal middle class audiences.


Purpose: The author is trying to persuade a larger population of Americans to press their government into supporting gene mapping technologies and research in order to make the medical treatments more available to the general public.


Ethos Appeals

Word Choice/Diction
Tone and Syntax
Acknowledgement of Opposing Claims


Logos Appeals

• Citations 
• Credible Sources/ Quotes/ Expert Opinions 
• Transitions 

Pathos Appeals

• Statistics with "Shock" Appeal. 
• Repetition of certain "loaded" phrases. 

Thesis Statements

"According to Harmon's analytical article, "Gene Maps Become a Luxury Item," the medical technology necessary for the mapping and documentation of an individual's DNA has become a desired medical process among the wealthy due to its influence in personalized healthcare. By citing statistics that note the decrease in costs for such technology, comparing the wealthy's use of such treatments to those of luxury cars, and repeating the concept that the government should subsidize the research, the author aims to incite a larger population of lower class citizens to urge their governments for equal healthcare access."

• Probably the best of my thesis statement examples, this one addresses all the issues brought up by the article's writer and will be an excellent foundation for my counter arguments motioning against these points. 

"Appealing to her audience's current dissatisfaction with the lack of government involvement regarding affordable healthcare, Harmon's article "Gene Maps Become a Luxury Item" addresses a new social gap where wealth may better one's longevity. By employing emotional appeals that address a inequality among citizens in terms of quality healthcare, crafting an elaborate metaphor to compare the desired technology to the eccentricities of the wealthy class, and alluding to a possible elitist society where genes infer status, the author call for a more involved government and a more subsidized healthcare system."

• My second choice if the first thesis meets a dead end, this thesis is more concise and manageable in terms of writing length. However, due to its vagueness, I might find my essay stray from the topic at hand; therefore, it will be difficult to manage the abundance of information countering the claim. 

Reflection:
After read the post made by Isabel and Nick, I realized that I need to beef up my strongest thesis with quotations but at the same time make it more readable. Browsing though their posts I saw thesis statements that where concise but had sufficient textual reference to use as a basis for a counter argument. My thesis seems to be mostly "point" but very little build up. I think I might revise my thesis of choice in the drafting process in order to make a clear goal when writing the body paragraphs.